Charlie's Cameltoes

This just in: R. Kelly is Insane

"Jupiter, Pluto, Venus, and Saturn
I'm leavin Earth, girl, to explore your galaxy
10 to zero, blast off, here we go
We'll be climaxin til we reach Mercury

I guarantee you'll like it, it'll take your breath away
Gonna get you so excited once I taste your Milky Way

So don't trip, I got a giant rocket
Glidin through, just hittin your pocket

I'm about to take over and touch your soul
Once I enter into your black hole

Girl now that you're next to me, we'll be just like satellites
Watching over the Earth, we'll make space our paradise

Girl I promise this will be painless, painless
We'll take a trip to Planet Uranus, anus

Stick a flag on the moon
First couple to ever make love on Planet Neptune

And if time allow us, we'll be gone for hours
I won't stop until I give you meteor showers

So get ready for liftoff babe
You ready? (yes) Hold on to this, here we go
R minus 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4 3 2 1....
Babe, start our engines
Then blast off!

Oh said it feels so good
When we blast off

And my rocket is so full of fuel baby
Yes it is"

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Maneframe

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Blow

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Hair Me Out

Only love and then oblivion

This is the nature of empathy, to think oneself into the minds of others. These are the mechanics of compassion: you are under the bedclothes, unable to sleep, and you are crouching in the brushed-steel lavatory at the rear of the plane, whispering a final message to your loved one. There is only that one thing to say, and you say it. All else is pointless. You have very little time before some holy fool, who believes in his place in eternity, kicks in the door, slaps your head and orders you back to your seat. 23C. Here is your seat belt. There is the magazine you were reading before it all began.

The banality of these details might overwhelm you. If you are not already panicking, you are clinging to a shred of hope that the captain, who spoke with such authority as the plane pushed back from the stand, will rise from the floor, his throat uncut, to take the controls...

If the hijackers had been able to imagine themselves into the thoughts and feelings of the passengers, they would have been unable to proceed. It is hard to be cruel once you permit yourself to enter the mind of your victim. Imagining what it is like to be someone other than yourself is at the core of our humanity. It is the essence of compassion, and it is the beginning of morality.

The hijackers used fanatical certainty, misplaced religious faith, and dehumanising hatred to purge themselves of the human instinct for empathy. Among their crimes was a failure of the imagination. As for their victims in the planes and in the towers, in their terror they would not have felt it at the time, but those snatched and anguished assertions of love were their defiance.

Ian McEwan, 2001.
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Greg Valentino: Bodybuilding's Most Hated Man

"Everyone accuses me of Synthol. I don't take Synthol. I was taking propionate and Equipoise into the muscle itself. Synthol just works one way: it stretches the fascia. With Equipoise and propionate you get the double whammy. You get the stretch from the oil plus you get the localized growth from the drugs themselves.

Synthol is like taking oil without the drug. It's like taking dead oil — like buying fake steroids without a drug in there. You can only get so much for Synthol. I've got 27-inch arms, what, you think I have seven inches of oil in there? That would be ridiculous; they wouldn't even look like arms anymore. Listen, I had 21-inch arms before I ever took a steroid in my life."

Al Gore still loves Apple

Rambo IV

"Older and wiser"

Pick your tattoo artist wisely

RIP Jerry Falwell

"You'll be riding along in an automobile. You'll be the driver perhaps. You're a Christian. There'll be several people in the automobile with you, maybe someone who is not a Christian. When the trumpet sounds you and the other born-again believers in that automobile will be instantly caught away -- you will disappear, leaving behind only your clothes and physical things that cannot inherit eternal life. That unsaved person or persons in the automobile will suddenly be startled to find the car suddenly somewhere crashes. ... Other cars on the highway driven by believers will suddenly be out of control and stark pandemonium will occur on ... every highway in the world where Christians are caught away from the drivers wheel."

"When I, when I, when I hear somebody talking about our military and ridiculing and saying terrible things about our President, I'm thinking you know just a little bit of that and I believe the Lord would forgive me if I popped him.

"The Bible is the inerrant ... word of the living God. It is absolutely infallible, without error in all matters pertaining to faith and practice, as well as in areas such as geography, science, history, etcetera."

"I believe that global warming is a myth. And so, therefore, I have no conscience problems at all and I'm going to buy a Suburban next time."

"It is God's planet -- and he's taking care of it. And I don't believe that anything we do will raise or lower the temperature one point."